Lately I have really been asking myself what God's purpose for me is. I currently work as a CSR in an insurance agency. I am content doing this job but it doesn't challenge me and I don't feel like I am doing God's work here. I am surrounded by wonderful Godly women that have truly been such an encouragement to me over the last few months. So the question that I keep coming back to is why do I feel like I am not serving out His purpose for me.
We studied Jonah last night at church and I was surprised to find out that Jonah was actually an angry, bitter and selfish person. God told him what to do but he wanted to do it his way. It took the part that we all know of being in the belly of the whale for him to realize he needed God. Even after God showed him mercy and saved him, Jonah went out with a bitter heart to do what God had asked him for a second time to do.
I don't think that its going to take God putting me in the belly of whale to get my attention and obedience but I know he has used some extreme measures with me to get my attention in the past. I wish I could say for sure what it is he wants me to do in the here and now.
I don't have the picture perfect life or past but mine's real, it has hurt, disappointment and many mistakes in it. However, I know that all of these things have been to lead me to where I am today. God used other measures to get my attention and I only wished that I would have listened to him the first time instead of thinking I knew a better way.
I have chosen to make my weight loss journey public. Not because I am excited about my weight being written on the internet for the world to see but because through my journey I may able to encourage or touch even one person and that would be a praise to God. Maybe this is what He wants for me for now, to be faithful in my blogging and encouraging to others who struggle with the same things as I do. I will pray for direction, patience, to have a cheerful heart and sincere motives behind my actions.
In His timing he will reveal to me His purpose for me but for now he has me where he wants me and I will continue to love Him and do what I can to show others his graciousness, mercy and steadfast love.
"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace; that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16