Look it over

Well, I kind of feel like I haven't had much to say this week and I guess I haven't really. I am going to borrow a blog format from my friend Keelie over at Real Fat to look at the past week.

Physical-I have had a great week so far and I have already gotten in 13 miles on the treadmill. I have felt thinner all week and that is a definite plus. My daily tracking and counting has been way under my required daily amounts. I just cant seem to get enough calories in. It doesn't help though that I work out at the end of the day so I end up with a lot of burned calories that go unused. I don't think I have been really hungry at any point so I know that I am getting the food that I need. For now, this is just how it is as I am NOT a morning person and I don't see myself changing that up anytime soon. Oh yeah and I have gotten in tons of water. I have decided to sign up for the 5K in May and I am SUPER excited about it! I am going to start the C25K on Monday to train for it since at this point I have been wogging mostly. I am also going to get new running shoes this weekend as mine are killing me! :)You think I am a perfect healthy life style person don't you?

Mental-I am not perfect and if you have been with me at all then you know this. Mentally, I have been kind of drained and weak.  I am still struggling with some of the issues that I have dealt with in the past but I am seeing some positive differences. I will keep doing what I am doing and continue to pray that I grow stronger mentally. Every day is a battle and some days I feel like its not worth it. I know that's not true but some times that nasty voice gets the better of me. I was telling my husband last night that I have noticed some of friends & family don't have much to say to me anymore since I am continuing on with this journey. However, I think in a way that is partially what keeps me from having a major set back, because I know they are just waiting for me to fail and say its not worth it. I know they aren't doing it to be mean or hurtful but were human and it happens. I just hope that I am able to show others that even through mental, emotional and physical struggles this making this life style change is still possible.

Emotionally-I have been stretched VERY thin. I am dealing with a pre-teen (almost 11) very hormonal (I am convinced it is in our foods!!) daughter that has literally caused gray hair in the last few weeks. Eeek!! Anyways, I can talk until I am blue in the face about that but I wont subject you all to any unwanted gray hairs at this point. I am doing a lot (not enough I am sure) praying about this and a few other personal things going on in my life right now. I have always been an "emotional eater" but I am now finding that instead of "eating" I am focusing on following my plan. I am like the calorie nazi on most days and I will tell you that I am a little obsessed with it. I do have my off days in the gym but I wont allow myself to have off days from my food. I am terrified that if I allow myself to have that one meal out where I have what ever I want that I wont be able to come back. Does this make sense to anyone else? All of the times that I have been down this path before I have allowed myself those weak moments or even planned out ones when I don't count calories or check the nutritional value and it has gotten me to where I was when I started this journey. I hope and pray that one day I will be able to have this under control but like I said here and here I think this will always be apart of me. Every day I am given the choice to make and it is only up to me to make the right one.

I pray that I will continue to grow closer to the Lord and stronger in my His ways every day.

"Turn to me and be saved, all the ends of the earth! For I am God, and there is no other." Isaiah 45:22

Jamie