Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Using Me

I have a lot on my mind and heart but not a lot to say in particular. Does that make sense? So this will be a random combination of my thoughts today.  

It has been a great week so far and I don't see why it wouldn't continue. I started taking my whey protein last Friday and started taking Super B complex today. I read a lot about the good effects it has on your metabolism and just overall health and decided to add them in to my daily supplements. I do feel a little hyper today but that may be from all the endorphin's I am producing with my 60 second desk workouts every hour and my running. I have spent an abundance of time in prayer this week and in different scripture. It is so amazing the "high" that you experience when you are walking with the Lord. I have been doing a book study with a friend and it is continuing to remind me daily that I am a big mess without God and that I make even bigger messes when I try to do things myself. 

I want to be an encouragement to others but I don't want to be the center of attention. It actually makes me really nervous to be the center of attention in a group. A friend was saying yesterday how she wasn't sure she would ever have this food addiction under control and it really made me think since I have said that so many times myself. I believe that God has given me this food addiction as a "gift" to draw me closer to Him. This "gift" is allowing him to mold me and use me to His glory. Not long ago I was jut going along each day as if it wasn't important, now I am starting to feel as though He is giving me a calling to serve Him. I cant explain the feeling of knowing that God is doing something great with me and through me.

We have all been through a different walk in this life and God has given us the choices to make, what we do with them are up to us. If I am able to help even one person from the hurts that I have felt it will be worth it. Whether it be with a food addiction, eating disorder, failed marriage, substance abuse, infidelity, abuse, single mother issues, dating again after kids, lack of a father or a working mom trying to make ends meet. While going through these trials myself, with family members, my ex husband or my parents they were all part of the path that God had already laid out for me. He knew I would need those things in my life to make me who He wants me to be. Sometimes I wish I could change some of those things but in this moment as I am putting this all down I know that one wouldn't have happened without the other so I am thankful for all of them. The good, the bad, the ugly and the shameful. 

I have to continually give myself, my relationships, my addictions, my cravings & my everything's over to God in order for them to truly be blessed. You cant change them for me, I cant change them for me, I cant change the way a person is but I can pray about it and I can ask God to change me if those things in my life don't change. I am not perfect or saying that I am going to handle all things that come my way with grace, but I can look at the situation and ask God to help me see it clearly or guide me in the right direction.

I have a long way to go and even more to learn about life, God, family, friendships and the importance of it all but I know that I will have a protector with me for every step of the way. 

I was encouraged by this verse last night from a friend and I am not sure I completely have the grasp of the meaning or application but I will be taking a closer look at it and focus more on applying it to my life. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30



  1. I know you have made a difference in my life :)

  2. This is a very encouraging post. As a born-again Christian I have found how interesting it is that up until a few years ago I could trust God with so much of my life, but not my food addiction or cravings. Yet, as I've begun to give that area to Him I'm amazed at all he has brought me through in the area of health as well.

    Keep up the good work! It's inspiring to see your steady loss and closer walk with Jesus in the process. :)

    1. Thank you Leah for your constant encouragement. I appreciate it so much.