Loosing It...

I may or may not be having a meltdown. Let me rewind a few days to get the whole picture. Thursday night Maycey asked if we could get a frozen yogurt on the way home from the gym and I decided we would since I haven't had one in 6-8 weeks. Friday was my birthday, I ate great and went to the gym like any other day. Oh yeah, except Sarah and I took the kids to IHOP at 9:30 for a little late night excursion. I had the Simple Fit meal but did add a little syrup to my pancakes. Saturday started off good and then went down hill from there. I was fine with it though because I have really done good and I made the choice to have unclean foods for lunch and the best Starbucks drink ever for an afternoon pick me up while shopping. I'm not sure exactly when it happened but I just took a downward turn mentally later that night. I picked up a few things from Walmart on the way home at 9:30 and decided I was also going to have a theater box of raisinets. Really, a whole box! Jon comes in the bathroom while I am soaking in the bath enjoying my raisinets and questions me about them. I then tell him they are mine and I was gonna eat them all because I wanted to. Really? Who was this person that had invaded my mind? Then after I get in bed and we put on a movie I decide that I am going to eat the m&m's that are in the cabinet. I finally passed out (probably from a sugar coma) around 1:15 thankfully, otherwise I may have went and looked for more candy. Sunday was a new day and I was going to get control of things. NOT....well half not anyways. I wanted coffee on the way to church and I didn't have anything besides sweet-n-low or sugar to sweeten it with so I choose the sugar since the other makes me bloat so bad. We dropped Jon and Maycey off after church and went straight to the grocery store for the weekly list. You may not have noticed but there was no food mentioned up until this point yet and now I am starving. I am able to withstand the hunger until we get to the checkout and then I have Maddy run and get me a Luna bar (that was ate in like 3.5 seconds). The rest of the day was pretty relaxing and I made myself a banana cream protein shake to enjoy while I watched a movie. I knew I was short on patience and I was irritable so I decided to head to the gym and take some of it out on the treadmill. This was great but I still didn't feel back to myself or like I had control. I will spare you the details on my meltdown yesterday morning at my husband because MY hair didn't look good and on the incident with my pre-teen last night. After putting it all together it dawned on me that most of it is PMS and I have a really big opportunity this week that has me on edge. My family may be ready to ship me off to the crazy farm before it is over.

How will I make it through this week? With lots of prayer and because I know this too shall pass. My God is big and he already has this all worked out. So when I start to stress or worry I have to remind myself that its already decided and I will not be this emotional in a few days.

I did weights on Friday but skipped Saturday and Sunday lifting. I did do 30 mins of cardio on Sunday and I enjoyed it. I haven't decided if I am going to lift tonight or just take a few days off and just do cardio. After putting all of this down here I am thinking it may also be my body telling me it needs a break. The is not a sprint and I don't have a deadline so its not going to kill me if I back off a little bit.

Thoughts, opinions, advice on how my last few days has been??

Jamie